Reviewing the review...

Have you ever watched American Idol when there’s a large group around one person, and they are all super excited and know without a doubt that the one person they surround (the contestant) is going to get that golden ticket?

When that happens, as a viewer you’re intrigued, because hey, if that many people say the contestant can sing, then they probably can. Then—after the commercial break—you the viewer are taken into the audition room, the ‘almost singer’ is regaling the judges with their life story, and viewer and judges alike are thinking… ‘Damn, I hope this person can sing because this is a captivating person/story. I’d be happy to see them succeed. And there are so many people outside the room cheering them on, surely they’re going to be wonderful.’

Then the person begins to sing, the paint starts to peel off the walls, alley cats begin to sing along, all the judges faces go from happy and smiling to ‘oh gawd not another one’ and you the viewer at home are turning the volume down on the television to keep your cats and dogs from singing along.

Now, you, the viewer at home, are watching all of the people outside the room, too. You can see the looks on their faces. While a few of those faces genuinely believe that the person is a good/great singer because of the love they have for them. You can also see the faces of the ones who are quite obviously thinking… ‘I never told them how I truly felt, that they can’t sing worth (insert choice noun here). I never told them because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, because I love them and care for them, and wanted to help them reach their dreams. But o gawd I’m so glad someone is going to tell them now so I can stop listening to the caterwauling.’

This is the part where the viewer at home begins to laugh and make fun of the person inside the room saying things like … “What on earth made them think they could sing!? Why would anyone want to listen to that? Who let that person go in that room?” or worse things that I won’t add here, because I don’t think bullying the contestant is right. If you’re me, however, you think, “why did those people that care for the contestant allow this to happen.”

The cameras pan back into the room, the person stops singing—or in most cases, is stopped by the judges. It’s now the judge’s responsibility to tell this person they just aren’t right for the job. Sometimes the judges are friendly, sometimes they are direct, sometimes they are downright mean. However, in all of this, you have the contestant.

Let’s journey back to why the contestant is there in the first place when they very obviously cannot sing at all, and they either need lessons to hone their craft or need to pick a new one entirely. This person has been coddled and told their entire ‘career’ that their voice is pleasant, wonderful to hear, or maybe they’ve even been compared to a professional singer that they look up to.

My question is this… How did anyone help the contestant prepare for the contest? Or… How did lying to the contestant prevent this now embarrassing life-changing event from happening? That’s not to say that embarrassing/life-changing events are wrong, or unfair, or even that those things shouldn’t happen at all, it’s to say, what help was provided by all those encouraging the singer to be prepared for what inevitably was going to happen in the audition room?

Either the people supporting them don’t know anything about singing, or the music industry, or they can’t hear, or they are blinded by love, or they are just trying not to hurt the person’s feelings. In any event, they are not supporting, they are not helping, they are not encouraging. They are setting the person up for failure. And now… the entire world knows it.

Here is what could/should have happened.

The people supporting the contestant could have said… “I like your gumption; I certainly am not brave enough to go on stage and sing in front of anyone else. But, I’d like to offer some constructive criticism.” (Enter said criticism here. ‘Your voice is too high.’ ‘You sound a bit nasal.’ ‘Maybe you should record yourself and listen back.’) There are a lot of ways to offer assistance. Maybe they could have even said, “let’s get you some lessons with a voice coach.”

Now, I know those things are expensive, and no, not everyone can afford them. But I also know this… If this is your dream—whatever that dream may be— and you want it enough, you will do anything to reach that goal. If that means getting an extra job to pay for the lessons. If it means asking for help. Holding up a sign on the side of the road that says, “help me make my dream come true.” Whatever the means, if you want it bad enough, and you have such an incredible support system—the same ones that are willing to lie to you—you’ll get there.

But as we all know, that’s not the reason for this post—which is a long blog, I know.

We come back to the contestant.

Now we have a contestant who is leaving the room empty-handed. Their support group following behind, dragging the posters they were holding up in support. Each one looking at the camera with varying faces of regret. Then there’s the exit interview.

There are many different ways the exit can go.

Kicking and screaming… “They don’t know what they are talking about! I’ll be back! You’ll see! You’ll all see!”

Complete and utter defeat… “Get out of my face! Get that camera away from me!” sobbing all the way.

Pure anger… giving a look to the camera of ‘I swear to all that is holy if you come any closer, I’m going to kill you.’

Understanding… “I tried my best. I’ll take the judges comments to heart and work on it. I’ll come back next year.”

A mix of emotions… “I tried,” they say while holding back tears. “I really thought I was going to make it. But I guess,” they wipe their nose with the back of their hand, “I’ll have to try something else because I’m just not good enough yet.”

All of these emotions, given the circumstances, are completely understandable. They’ve been told they are amazing, by all of the people they trust in the world, and those people lied to them. The contestant knows that now, and they are fighting internally with themselves. ‘How did this happen? So and so, said that I was great, and then my neighbor said they could hear me from inside their house, and they smiled. Then my (significant other) loves it when I sing to them. My mom and/or dad hums along when I sing, and they always give me praise. No one’s ever said a bad thing about my singing.’

Either way, the viewer is entertained because everyone, whether they admit it or not, likes to see a little ‘Simon Cowell’ response to the scenario. And you never know what the contestant or their families/friends/acquaintances are going to do. So, the show has won because they still have an audience, the families/friends/acquaintances have won because the person is either going to work harder and get better, or they are going to stop singing. The viewer is satisfied because they were entertained, and depending on the contestant, they have either lost, or lost hard because they didn’t get the golden ticket, but how they view that is up to them.

What you don’t see, is the contestant turning on the viewers at home, and telling the viewers that it’s their fault and that their opinion on the matter is arrogant.

Maybe you don’t see this because the contestant and the viewer are never together. But if we change the scenario to say that of a book, and a book review, then the dynamics change a bit. Because when the review goes live, and the author of the book can now see and interact with the reviewer, things can sometimes go awry.

Again, this can go several ways. Because let’s face it, there are many opinions on books. Books are subjective, what is interesting to one, another may not like. Some people only read non-fiction, while others wouldn’t pick up a biography to save their lives. Then you have Sci-Fi and Fantasy. Romance and Young Adult. Mystery and Thriller. Horror and Literary fiction. This list goes on forever, there are a great many genres, and not everyone will like everything. That’s why we have the genres, so that someone who hates romance doesn’t accidentally pick up a romance novel.  —Sorry, I’m ranting. I’ll get back to my point—

When a positive review is offered, the author smiles and pats themselves on the back, happy that they’ve received the positive appraisal. When the review is negative, they can respond in the same ways that the above-mentioned contestant did. But when they go after the reviewer, because they have access, and they blame the reviewer… tsk-tsk-tsk… and then they go one step further and call the reviewer names or make judgments against the reviewer because they don’t like the review, again… tsk-tsk-tsk.

Now, not all reviewers are created equal, as not all books or anything else for that matter are created equal. The reviewer, at this point, could also have a few different reactions, let’s list those for clarity…

Ashamed: “Oh my goodness, what have I done. I’ll go take the review down, to make the author feel better."

Wishy-washy: “I’ll go change the review, maybe I was too harsh, I’ll only post positive things.”

WTF: Where the reviewer obsessively goes and re-reads the review to see if there is a reason the author decided to be ‘angry’ and call names/cast judgments.

WTFC—who the fuck cares—: Where the reviewer knows what they said was their opinion and does not go look at the review, because they stand by their word. “The author can be an ass if they want. No dirt off my back.”

Pissing Contest: Where the reviewer goes back and forth in some kind of social media war with the author and no one wins in the end.

Interested: The reviewer re-reads the review. Considers what the author has said. Re-reads the review again, and sees what can be done about it. Because the observations were not meant as a personal attack against the author, and the reviewer was under the impression that the author would know this.

I’m confident that there are also many other ways the reviewer could take it. But I’m going to assume—for the purpose of this post—those are the ‘main’ ways it could go.

So—using the previous example of the viewers at home, the supporters, the judges, and the contestants— let’s change this scenario to the publishing world. Where the viewers at home become the readers, the supporters are still supporters—but in a different capacity, now they are beta readers which requires a lot more of their time and effort— the judges are possible agents or publishers, and the contestants would become the authors. In this situation, some of the readers, become reviewers, and believe it or not, some authors ask for reviews by giving away free copies of their novels for an honest review. Which, to me, is a wonderful thing, and as an avid reader, this makes me happy and excited to read and offer my opinion. It also makes me think highly of the author. How wonderful of them and how courageous for them to put themselves out there, and say, “Here is this book I wrote, what do you think?”

Let’s just think about that for a second, too. The author, spends countless hours, days, weeks, months, years, putting words to paper. Developing stories and plots to entertain readers, and possibly, if all goes well, moviegoers. Not because they are vain, or want recognition (not that that’s not a nice plus) but because their real intention is to entertain and excite readers. To move them to action of some kind, even if that action is simply to pick up another book. Because let me tell you, all authors, are avid readers, and they all love a good story. But to then— after working so hard—hand out your novel to a complete stranger and say, what do you think? BRAVERY and COURAGE are a part of their inner strength.

I say bravery and courage because in this digital world, we’ve all seen what happens when others don’t like something, and they nitpick it to death. Everyone is WELL AWARE that opinions are a dime a dozen, and like assholes, everyone’s got one.

Here’s the thing though, with the author’s bravery and courage, you think would come some thick skin, and the ability to know, that you’re not going to like everything you hear, read or see about your book. You’ve offered it up, for the world to see, and hopefully, you prepared it correctly. Because if you didn’t, you’re going to soon find out. Especially when you ask for their opinions.

I personally am a reviewer of books. I review every book I read. Whether offered by an author, one that I picked up on Amazon for my kindle or one that I bought on my trip to my local bookstore. If I read it, I’m going to offer a review.

With being a reviewer, I am also an author. Therefore, I know exactly how much goes in to writing a novel and preparing it for publishing. I know the steps you take, I’ve read the books, I’ve been to the workshops, I’ve traveled to the conventions. I’ve felt the sting of criticism. I’ve put over three million words to the digital screen, and those don’t include the words in my reviews—which are often over a thousand words—or the words I’ve shared on any social media or the words that I’ve put to actual paper. So, when I say I know a thing or two about the written word, know that I’m not just talking out of my ass as many tend to do. (And I get that sometimes I ramble, but let’s be clear, I’m aware of it and openly admit it, I know I am not a perfect person, and I do not expect perfection from people. I do, however, expect near perfection from the grammar in published novels—as do most readers.)

I'm not egotistical when I say that most people that know me believe me to be… honest, fair, compassionate, loveable, caring, kind, sweet, and trustworthy as well as many other adjectives. I say most because I’m very aware that no one can please everyone and that we all have people that don’t like us, we’re all human and make mistakes—Each and every one of us are the bad guy in someone else’s story. I say this to give you an insight into who I am as a person, so that perhaps you may gain a clearer picture of who I am as a reviewer.

I would never intentionally try to hurt another person’s feelings. Certainly, not another author, who I know, worked hard on getting the story that lived inside their head out onto paper. I will, however, offer specific criticisms and opinions on their work if their work is a published novel. If it is not published, I will be a hell of a beta-reader for them. I will offer critiques and edits. I will do my best to see that the novel is error-free and ready to be presented to the world—like a finely tuned, well-rehearsed, voice-lesson-prepared singer. I will not coddle you; I will not be wishy-washy; I will not lie to you.

But, for some reason, because of these qualities that I possess, the ability I have to state my opinion, I’ve been judged as arrogant. When I very clearly stated that it was an opinion.

When I say in a review—Actually, I’ll just quote myself…

“If I read reviews and see that all reviews are five stars, I feel that all the reviewers are friends/acquaintances of the author. When the reviews all say pretty much the same thing its because none of them actually finished reading the book, but they didn’t want to upset their friend, so they all copied off one another and wrote a review.”

I didn’t think I needed to break it down any further, but at the same time, I must need to because the author that read that said…

 “What does make me angry though is when the reviewer implies that anyone else who did like it must be related to the writer-basically they are saying only their review is true. I call that arrogant.”

So, breaking down my comment, that forced the author to call me, the reviewer, arrogant…

First of all, I did not say they must be related to you, nor did I mention that only my review was valid. Now though, I assume you made this judgment because the reviewers are, in fact, related to you. Because if you read the review, I said “friends/acquaintances” but obviously, I was incorrect in that assumption, and the reviews that are five stars are actually from people that are related to you.

Maybe I should re-word that portion of the review to state it this way… “If I have read a novel that is filled with errors, and I see that all of the reviews are five stars, and all of the reviews pretty much say the same things, I feel that the reviews were all written by friends/acquaintances of the author, and none of them actually finished reading the book, but didn’t want to upset their friend, so they copied off of one another and wrote reviews.”

Perhaps I should have added that the reviewers instead of just being friends/acquaintances could be people who received a copy of the novel, too. Maybe that’s why Amazon and Goodreads have a policy against reviews that are from anyone that received a free copy of the book because those opinions could be biased.

When someone says “I feel” it means that they are ‘under the impression’ or ‘have the opinion of’ you could even say it means that they’ve ‘come to a conclusion.’ That’s certainly how I meant it. Because, as a reader, who reads a book that is literally FILLED with errors, so many in fact that as a reviewer, I emailed the author and offered my assistance to edit the novel, FOR FREE, because there were so many that it was difficult to keep going and I love stories and feel that they all should have their day in the sun (sorry ranting again.) In response to my very nicely worded email, the author replied that they were aware of the errors but decided to publish anyway. But they would indeed appreciate the assistance and would send over the document.

At this point, I the reader/reviewer, wait for the document so that I can continue reading. When I didn’t receive the material, it’s not my job at that point, to pressure the author, or even reach out again, it’s their job to follow-through, not mine. So, when they did not follow-through, I picked the book back up and soldiered on. Raging and screaming the entire time about the too many to count grammatical errors. Ask my kids, they’ll tell you, I bitched about it for weeks, while I read it. It took me weeks because it was “incredibly” frustrating to read with all of the errors.

Therefore, when I wrote the review, after never hearing from the author again, I figured they’d be prepared for a review that stated my opinion, in the most helpful way possible. I guess—living in the digital age—I should have known better. I should have known that the good things I said about the novel would be pushed aside and that the negative things I said would be what was held on to. (Let's be clear the original review was a little over 1,900 words long.)

I feel—I’m of the opinion—that the goal of the author’s post was to make me think twice, or perhaps to even make me feel bad in some way. However, it has only made me know that what I am doing is right. Negative feedback is always difficult to hear. We all respond with either fight or flight. I believe the author’s response was flight—It’s not my problem, it’s not anything I did, it’s all them. Because if it were me, I’d fight—Let me go check my novel, and see if there are errors, let me check it and see if what the reviewer said is true.  And when I found out that it was true, I’d thank them, correct the errors and then send them a copy of the corrections, so they could see I took their criticism to heart, and not as a personal attack. After all, I was the one who asked them for their opinion.

I’d like to state that my review went on to say this about the supporters…

“I must say to those people; you are not helping your friend at all. You have let them give something to the world, that represents them, and it is filled with errors. You are not helping them make their mark; you are preventing them from being able to be taken seriously in the publishing world. No book with that many errors will be picked up by an industry professional and taken seriously.”

I felt that by stating that, the author would see that I did not only blame them for the errors, but I blame the beta readers for not telling the author. I blame the beta readers for coddling the author and not saying, ‘dude, I like the premise, but could you get the grammar under control?’ Fuck, I blame myself for mollycoddling the author. Because when I spent the four hours I took in writing and re-writing the review, to try and be as gentle about it as I could, I didn’t do anyone any favors either.

I guess maybe—being a member of the digital world—I could write the review that I truly wanted to write. With that said I’ll have another go at it...

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If I wrote this novel, I would be impressed with myself for getting the 50-100,000 words out of my head and on to paper. However, if I were the one who published this novel, I would be embarrassed beyond belief. I would not want my name on it because there are so many errors that the writer and publisher both would HAVE had to know about prior to publishing.

It appears to me that the author took their first draft, emailed it to a self-publisher, and took the first contract offered. The author then paid to have the book published and was so excited to be a “published author” that they didn’t care about the grammatical and structural errors. EVEN THOUGH THEY KNEW THE ERRORS WERE THERE.

Whichever self-publisher published this novel, is 100% only in it for the money they receive. And is a prime example of what traditional publishers warn prospective authors about. They are not looking out for their authors, they are not looking out for the readers, and they are certainly no friend to grammar.

About the story, I liked the idea of it. I liked the idea of a bad guy taking the lead. I liked the premise of following a psycho around and seeing what they get up to. Hell, I liked the idea of a bad guy with amnesia who has no idea how they ended up the way they are and thinks maybe they weren’t always that way. That’s a great mystery/thriller. I’d pick it up, and I did.

But, that’s not what the story is. No, it’s a supernatural fantasy where the story is actually about the son of Satan being pissed off because daddy chose someone else to be the Anti-Christ, and then sends himself to earth to fix it, but gets amnesia in the process. His backup plan was to send his horribly written female succubus to Earth to await his arrival where she’ll be able to inform him of who he really is—and be his sex-slave—but a priest gets in the way because the priest believed that he could save the world if he chose a body for the son of Satan to inhabit that was troubled and alone, that he could guide the son of Satan—who would have amnesia upon arrival—to do good and prevent the Anti-Christ. But the succubus kills the priest, lies to the son of Satan, and still manages to not die. All of this while an angel—you know, like from heaven—goes around tolling out death and destruction—literally killing an entire town worth of people, minus the four that survived, and a demon who was sent to bring back the succubus and the son, goes around trying not to kill anyone unnecessarily.

Do you know what angels don’t do? They don’t kill innocent people! Do you know what demons do? Whatever the fuck they want!

And don’t get me started on the scene where the entire apartment building is engulfed in flames, so much so that the roof is collapsing and somehow the protagonist and the other characters in the scene—that are on the third floor—have a fucking floor to stand on! I know how floors in apartment buildings are built, and I get the additional protection used, but under the circumstances listed in the book, that floor would have been long gone, or their legs would have been burning at the very least. I also understand that two of the characters are demons, they can handle the flames and the heat and all that jazz, but the nice sweet old lady, that’s been in the fire now for about fifteen minutes, dude, she’s dead! If not from smoke inhalation then from the lack of damn oxygen that the fire took out of the room, she’s old! She doesn’t have the same capacity as everyone else.

As a reader, I’m more than a little pissed off. I picked up a book that is listed as a mystery thriller and ended up in a supernatural fantasy that is filled with poorly written sex scenes, horribly crafted almost-psychos and scenes that are graphic just for shock and awe.

When I say the book sucks, that is not a personal attack against the author, it’s a nudge to them to go take an English class and learn how to grammar. I think it will be “incredibly” useful for you to do that.

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But again, as the reviewer, I’m not supposed to state my opinion, I’m just an arrogant person that thinks I’m right and everyone else is wrong.

Though can a feeling be arrogant? Is it arrogant to say that something makes me ‘feel’ a certain way?

adjective: arrogant

1.                  having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities

I don’t think that my review is any more or less important than any other review. Certainly not in any exaggerated way. I do—here again—feel that some of the other reviews could be falsely stated because I read the novel and there are so many errors it took me six weeks to read it. I did not say that as a slight, only as an observation, because again… so many mistakes. There was one page that I literally had to read seventeen times to understand what it said.

I guess I’ve written all of this (over 4,900 words) to say… If you’re an author and you request reviews, to the point of offering your novel for free for a review, how dare you then call names and point fingers when you actually get an honest opinion that contains constructive criticism as well as praise for your novel. Perhaps, re-read the review, and focus on the positive if you can’t handle the negative, but never, ever, for the love of all that is holy, call names and cast judgments. Especially when the reviewer says that your novel deserves its day in the sun because all you’ve done is lose a reader. You’ve lost someone who would absolutely have done her best to help your novel succeed.

The other way it could have been handled when you, the author, read the review… you could look at the file you sent, maybe you sent the wrong one. It’s happened to me before. The author accidentally sent me the incorrect file, I read one that was full of errors, they realized it after the review and sent me a corrected file, I changed/edited the review. No hard feelings. There have also been times where I found errors that the author missed because that happens, and they were so happy they appreciated the review, fixed the mistake and then sent me a corrected copy, so I changed/edited the review. Because we’re all human and all make mistakes.

But none of them called me names or judged me for being honest. I guess they aren’t bullies.